Aren’t We All “Ifes”

Have you ever thoroughly disliked a person? I mean so thoroughly that you cannot find anything minutely good about that person? That the mere thought of that person, or the mere sight of that individual makes you want to puke? If you haven’t, I wonder how else to tell you that you are a graced individual.

I have always heard of that word “hatred”, “dislike” but I never really thought much about it until recently.  I mean, I admit I have had a few people that we just couldn’t get along- but that didn’t mean I disliked them. We just knew we could never get closer.

This one, I am currently experiencing is different. It feels the more strange because I have never had this kind of thorough dislike for anyone before. Let me explain. I once saw a quote somewhere saying something like “Do you ever think to yourself how people see good in a person but only you know how evil/imperfect that individual is” Yes! The picture said something to that effect. I paid no attention to it the first time I saw it but when I came across it again, I reflected on it.

Might you ask me what my reasons are for the dislike, of course, in my self-justification, I would give you multiple reasons. Let’s talk about Ife (not her real name now)

This dislike had started from the first time I laid my eyes on her. I had felt something that I couldn’t name then. Later, I put a few names to my perception of her. I thought her phony, arrogant, loud and dirty. For the life of me, I couldn’t understand how people related with her. I couldn’t understand what they had to say to her. My dislike was really extreme.

Let me say in my justification also that our first meeting wasn’t so pleasant. In fact, she was downright rude! We were meeting for the first time and she behaved so uncultured.  It had angered me so much, I couldn’t wait to rave about it to my friend.

It didn’t help matters that my friend who had met her before I did thought exactly the same of her. She gave me so many instances to make me dislike Ife more.” Haa” I would say in amazement as my friend fed me with more reasons to fuel my dislike. “why is she like that?” I even asked my friend one day.

Then one day, I attended a conference which Ife attended too. One of the speakers knew Ife, he was talking about grace. To my consternation, he did not find anybody more worthy of an example of grace than Ife. He talked glowingly about her, sang her praises to the heavens and I was lost in misery. I kept thinking “is it the same Ife I know?”

When I got home, as I tried to take a nap, the speaker’s words kept bothering me and I tried to analyse it. Doing that, I started asking myself a lot of questions. I wondered if I was perfect, if I had no one flaw, if my character portraiture was flawless and believe me, it surprised me when my answers to these questions were negative.

The truth is that there will always be an “Ife” in your surroundings. That individual who you think is a big hypocrite and should not be worthy of attention, but the truth is when you think about it, These “Ifes” keep getting the attention despite your antagonistic thoughts.  The best thing will be to appreciate others, acknowledge their errors but don’t be a judge. If others are asked to give their opinion about you, it may surprise you that you would be found worse than “Ife.”

So I promised myself that when next I see Ife, I would try to smile and say hello. I want to tap from the grace she abounds in. I refuse to see any negativity. I choose to see the good in her. As I have come to realize, there is always good in a person, no matter how little. See the good at times, not the “not so perfect”

The moral of the story is simply “DO NOT JUDGE”  #loveGod #lovepeople #youarenotcalledtojudge #ratherprayforotherswithlove